It's a Turkey MIracle!

She could have strangled her husband right then and there. What was he thinking? It was going to be only their second Thanksgiving together and she was looking forward to another quiet holiday, just the two of them, like she wanted. One phone call from his mother and she could kiss that thought goodbye.

He just had to brag to his boss about her cooking. Just her luck her husband’s boss was married to the co-chair of the Daughters of Utah Pioneers and co-author of a localized pioneer cookbook, and lived next door to the sister of a lady whose daughter went to beauty school with the girl who did the hair of the lady whose niece-in-law’s kids went to school with kids of the lady who lived next door to her husband’s mother. Yeah, so word on the LDS network traveled faster than a viral Tweet and now she was going to have her husband’s entire family over for Thanksgiving dinner. All fifteen of them.

Granted her husband’s bragging was justified. Cooking was not the problem. Her own mother had done well in teaching her that food could be for more than just nourishment. She remembered vividly every meal she ate as a child and the anticipation and excitement of wondering what her mother was going to present on the dinner table that night. Every night was a culinary adventure. The anticipation of every holiday season was focused more on the food than the presents. When she married, her husband told her he wanted her to continue with her mother’s tradition.

The problem was she had never cooked for such a large group before. It had always been either just her, or her and her husband, and he was easy to please. After all, his mother wasn’t exactly Julia Child. She once watched in near vomit-inducing horror as her mother-in-law put ketchup on a well done-of-a-hockey puck steak. It was all she could do to break her husband of that habit and try to get him to experience something else, even if it was simply steak sauce. She was thinking she might have to lock all the ketchup in the house in a safe-box and bury it 10 feet under. Then she realized, with a sigh of relief, that she had been successful in completely eradicating the foul condiment from her kitchen. Besides, she didn’t have time for any digging.

So what to do? She had never done a whole turkey before and the idea began to overwhelm her. It had always been just a small turkey breast for her and her husband and now she was facing the daunting task of cooking a 25 pound turkey and a ten pound ham, which, she was told, her father-in-law would be bringing over the week before.

Deep down she wondered if she wasn’t more worried about ruining her brand new oven in their new house, which she hadn’t even had time to properly christen yet. They had only moved into the house in August, just two months after her husband had graduated from college and had started his new job as an Industrial Designer for Lockheed Martin.

Her husband reassured her that it was easier than she thought. She shot him a look that said, “Who’s cooking this stupid bird? Me or you?” But, with confidence in his wife’s cooking and his own ability to Google, he handed her some information he felt she could use.

With trepidation festering on the brink of pure loathing and the looming possibility of not speaking to her husband until maybe Christmas, if he was lucky, she looked over what he had printed out for her.

“So how does one go about choosing the perfect bird for Thanksgiving? There are a few simple tips to follow. For starters, bigger is better. According to Epicurious.com, figure about one pound per person, or more if you love having turkey sandwiches everyday for the month between then and your next turkey at Christmas (Why do we do that to ourselves?!). Hens are usually about 15 pounds or less. The big ones are the toms and they can be up to 25 pounds. Here is a time table for roasting un-stuffed, completely thawed turkeys at 350°. The times are approximate.

Guests Size of Turkey Time
8 people 12-14 lbs. 2 1/2 - 3 hours
10 people 15-16 lbs. 3 1/2 hours
12 people 18-20 lbs. 4 hours
14 people 21-22 lbs. 4 1/2 hours
16 people 24 lbs. 4 3/4 hours

So, what exactly are you getting when buying a turkey? It’s always a good idea to read the label.
It’s an even better idea to know what the label is telling you. Be sure to read the label carefully. If the label says “Fresh”, it doesn’t necessarily mean “fresh”. It just means that the turkey has been held at no less than 26° F. Frozen, of course, means 0° F and below and are favorites for graveyard shift stockboys on the PTBA - Pro Turkey-Bowlers Association. A turkey labeled “natural” means just that - no artificial anything; flavorings, colorings, moisturizing agents or otherwise. Be careful with turkeys labeled “self-basting”. They may not be “natural”. Free-range means the turkey had full access to the farmer’s front yard. Organic turkeys are the same as free-range turkeys only without the possibility of steroids, artificial growth hormones or antibiotics.

Fresh turkey is always best. If you do get a frozen turkey, get it far enough in advance for it to be able to thaw out in the refrigerator, preferably on the bottom shelf in the back. Give it about five days or so to thaw. If you don¢t have the time, let the turkey sit, fully submerged under water in your sink or bucket, changing the water every so often to keep bacteria from festering. Figure about 10 minutes per pound to thaw.

It’s best to use a quick-read thermometer inserted into the thickest part of the thigh, instead of relying on that little pop-up thingy. Totally unreliable.”

Suddenly there was hope. Thoughts began to swirl around her brain of Thanksgivings past. Once tied down by her unfounded limited abilities, the possibilities were … limitless. With forgiving kiss on her husband’s cheek, she set to work, checking cookbooks her mother had given her and talking to her mother long distance almost constantly. By the end of the next day she had a menu -

Honey-brined Roasted Turkey
Pan Gravy
Virginia Cured Ham
Honey Dijon Sauce
Wild Rice and Sausage Dressing
Fresh Green Beans with Pumpkin Squash and Pecans
Mashed Sweet Potatoes with Pears
Roasted Parsnips, Baby Carrots and Red Potatoes in Watercress Butter
Wild Field Greens with Pumpkin Squash and Maple Cider Vinaigrette
Nantucket Cranberry Sauce
Festive Holiday Punch
Cranberry Apple Pie
Apple Butter Pumpkin Pie
New York Pumpkin Cheesecake
Buttermilk Maple Sorbet
Yankee Oatmeal Molasses Buns
Assortment of Sweet Gherkins, Baby Dill Pickles, Black and Green Olives, Pickled Whole Baby Beets

Her husband looked over the list. He began to think maybe he had created a culinary monster. Where were the candied yams with the marshmallows? Where were the plain mashed potatoes? Why did the stuffing have sausage in it and why was it called dressing? And no vanilla ice cream? What was his mother going to think? It was beginning to seem a rather dubious plan.

She told her husband she didn’t care what his mother was going to think. Either two things were going to happen - either his mother was going to hate it and she would never have to do this again, or his mother was going to love it and, heaven forbid, she was going to have to do it again next year…and the next, and the next and the next. At least until his mother died. It was his fault for bragging about her cooking skills in the first place. Like it or not, this was going to be the menu for the fateful day.

So off she set to put her plan into motion. The turkey and ham arrived with great fanfare. She thought maybe their presence would spark anxiety, but she remained surprisingly calm. yet almost excited. She got on the phone with her mother-in-law and sisters-in-law and gave out the assignments.

“No cooking,” she told them. Just buy the things on the list I gave you and get them to me tomorrow at the latest. The sooner the better.”

Everything was choreographed to precision. Things were made ahead of time and chilled. Others were prepped and organized so they could be thrown together on Thursday. An oven schedule was written and posted on the fridge. She put her husband in charge of organizing the men to set the tables.

They had borrowed a long table from the church and were planning to move furniture to accommodate it. She assured her husband that they could do it during commercials so they wouldn’t miss the Lions annual Thanksgiving Day loss, although privately she knew he cared more about the dog show after the Macy’s parade than the football game.

All was done. The day was here. The guests had arrived.

Her mother-in-law looked at the food with suspicion, but eventually she politely, for her son's sake, took a bite of the dressing, and then the parsnips, the salad, the mashed sweet potatoes and so on and so on until she had tried the last dessert. There was no sign of discord from her mother-in-law. Could this mean success? Could this mean she would be tormented every November for the rest of her life?

At the end of the day, she offered some left-overs to her mother-in-law, but her mother-in-law gently refused. “I liked it, dear. It was delicious…but, I think next year we’ll do it at my house.”

A win-win for everyone, she thought.

Honey-brined Roasted Turkey

1 19-20 pound turnkey, cleaned
4 quarts water
4 quarts cider vinegar
2 cups kosher salt
4 cups honey
6 cloves garlic, peeled and slightly smashed
2 tablespoons whole black pepper
1 sprig fresh rosemary
olive oil

Place a large new garbage bag (at least 10 gallons) in a large stock pot. Mix the liquids and spices, except the olive oil, together in the bag until salt and honey dissolve. Place the washed turkey, without the gizzards, in the bag, making sure the turkey is completely covered by the brine. Seal up the bag and refrigerate for at least 12 hours.18-24 hours is preferred.

Remove the turkey and let drain on a rack. Discard the brine. Rub a little olive oil (about 1 tablespoon per each side) on the breasts under the skin. Truss the turkey. Place the turkey, breast down, on a rack in a roasting pan and tent loosely with foil. Roast at 350°, basting every 30 minutes after the first hour, until the internal temperature in the thigh reaches about 175°-180°, about 5-6 hours.

Pan Gravy

Turkey gizzards and neck bone
2 tablespoons minced garlic
½ medium or 1 small white onion, chopped
2 quarts chicken broth
2 sprigs fresh rosemary
1 cup flour
¼ cup butter

This recipe can’t be made if you use a disposable foil roasting pan. Remove the turkey to a large platter and tent with foil to keep it warm. Place the roasting pan on the stove top. Add the neck bone and gizzards to the drippings and cook until brown. Add the onion and garlic and cook until the onions are soft and aromatic. Pour in the chicken stock (unless you want to save last years turkey carcass to make a turkey stock…which is a whole different story) and rosemary, scraping any residue off the bottom of the pan. Bring to a boil and let simmer for 10-15 minutes. Strain into a stock pot. Place some of the broth in a large bowl and add the flour and whisk well, making sure there are no balls of flour. Add this to the broth and let simmer until thick. Whisk in the butter at the last minute.

Virginia Cured Ham

1 10 pound ham
whole cloves
6 cups hot water
1 cup cider vinegar
1 tablespoon Worcestershire sauce
2 bay leaves
1 cup molasses
1 tablespoon Dijon mustard

Preheat oven to 325°. If the ham still has it¢s skin, carefully remove the skin without removing as much fat as possible. Rinse off the ham and gently pat it dry. Score the fat crosswise in the shape of diamonds. Place one whole clove in each diamond. Place the ham in a large roasting pan with a cover or tent with foil.

Combine the water, cider vinegar, Worcestershire sauce and bay leaves and pour over the ham. Bake for 3 1/2 hours or until the internal temperature reaches 160°. Be careful not to let your meat thermometer touch the bone. After the first hour, baste every 30 minutes with the molasses mixed with the Dijon.

Honey Dijon Sauce

2 cup sour cream
¼ cup Dijon mustard
½ cup honey

Mix all the ingredients together. Chill

Wild Rice Sausage Corn Dressing

2 cups wild rice
1/2 pound ground Italian sausage
3 medium leeks, sliced, white parts only
4 ears of corn, shucked and cut
1 tablespoon thyme
1 teaspoon salt
pepper to taste
1 12 ounce can chicken broth
1/4 cup chopped fresh parsley
6 cups bread, cubed and dried

Bring salted water to a boil. Cook the wild rice in the boiling water for 15 minutes on medium heat. Drain and set aside.

Cook the Italian sausage about halfway on medium heat. Add the leeks and saute until tender and sausage is done. Add the cut corn and thyme and saute for another two minutes or so. Add the chicken broth and bring just to a simmer. Add the parsley, bread cubes and cooked wild rice, mixing well. Simmer covered on medium low heat for about 5 minutes, stirring occasionally.

Fresh Green Beans with Pumpkin Squash and Pecans

1 tablespoon butter
1 tablespoon olive oil
1 small (4 lbs) pumpkin, skinned and cubed
1 pound fresh green beans, trimmed and halved
2 teaspoons ground rosemary
2 teaspoons basil
1 tablespoon fresh thyme, chopped fine
1 cup chopped pecans
1/4 cup chicken broth
2 tablespoons butter
1 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon pepper

In a large heavy skillet, or wok, melt the butter together with the olive oil. Saute the cubed pumpkin on medium heat, stirring occasionally, until the pumpkin starts to brown and caramelize a little. Add the green beans and herbs. Saute for about 10 minutes. Add the broth and simmer, covered, for about 10 minutes or until the green beans are tender yet firm. Add the butter and salt and pepper and stir until the butter just melts.

Mashed Sweet Potatoes with Pears

5 pounds sweet potatoes
6 tablespoons butter or margarine
4 large Bartlett pears, peeled and diced medium
1 cup pear nectar
1/4 cup brown sugar
1/2 teaspoon cinnamon
1/4 teaspoon cardamom
1/2 teaspoon nutmeg

You can either bake the sweet potatoes at 400° for one hour or you can peel and slice them and then steam them (not boil!!) until soft and very tender. Melt 2 tablespoons butter in a saute pan. Add the pears and saute until they begin to soften, about 5 minutes. Add the nectar and bring to a simmer, covered, reducing the heat to medium low stirring often, about 4-5 minutes. Let the pear mixture cool a little and then puree 3/4 the mixture.

Place the prepared sweet potatoes in a large mixing bowl. Add the remaining butter and beat on medium speed until creamy. Add in the pear mixture, brown sugar and spices and mix well.

Roasted Parsnips, Baby Carrots, Red Potatoes in Watercress Butter

1 pound parsnips, peeled, cored and cut into ½ inch cubes
½ pound baby carrots, cut in half
1 pound red potatoes, washed and cut into ½ inch cubes
¼ cup butter
One bunch watercress, chopped fine
Dash salt and pepper

In a large oven-safe pot, melt the butter. Add the parsnips, carrots and potatoes and cook for 5 minutes, stirring occasionally. Remove from the heat, add watercress, salt and pepper and cover. Put the pot in a preheated oven at 350° and bake for 25-30 minutes. Transfer toa serving dish.

Wild Field Greens with Pumpkin Squash and Maple Cider Vinaigrette

Vinaigrette:
1/4 cup pure maple syrup (or 1/4 cup imitation plus 1 teaspoon maple extract)
1/2 cup cider vinegar
1 teaspoon nutmeg
1/2 teaspoon salt
1 cup olive oil

Mix the ingredients, except the oil, together in a blender. Slowly drizzle the oil into the mixture in the blender while blending on medium high.

Salad:
Mixed greens
1 small (2-3 pounds) pumpkin (or acorn or butternut squash)
3 fresh corn, shucked and shelled
1 pint red tear-drop tomatoes (or small cherry tomatoes), halved
1 bunch small green onions, chopped

Cut the pumpkin in half. Clean out the seeds and cut into wedges. Bring water in a steamer to a boil and steam the pumpkin wedges until tender but still firm, about 5 minutes. Chill in an ice water bath immediately. Drain well. Peel the skin off the wedges and cut the pumpkin into cubes. Mix all of the ingredients together with the greens. At time of service, add the vinaigrette and toss well.

Nantucket Cranberry Sauce

3-4 oranges, squeezed (about 1 cup)
1 cup apple cider
1 tablespoon orange zest
1/4 cup pure maple syrup
1/4 cup molasses
2 packets of Knox Gelatin
1 pound fresh or frozen cranberries

Bring the cider to a simmer and dissolve the gelatin in the cider. Remove from heat. Grind up the cranberries, a little at a time, in the blender with the orange juice. Combine everything in a saucepan and bring to a simmer. Reduce the heat to low and simmer for 10 minutes. Pour the mixture into a glass or plastic container and chill, covered.

Festive Holiday Punch

8 cups apple cider
8 cups cranberry juice
4 cinnamon sticks
2 red apples, cored, sliced
2 cups cranberries, crushed
3 liters lemon lime soda
ice

Mix apple and cranberry juices and cinnamon, chill for 24 hours. Fifteen minutes before serving, place apples and crushed cranberries in a punch bowl and add the juices and soda. Add Ice if necessary.

Cranberry Apple Pie

1 ready made pie crust
1 egg white
2 lbs medium Granny Smith apples, peeled, cored and sliced
3/4 cup frozen cranberries
1/2 cup sugar
1 tablespoon flour
1/2 tablespoon cornstarch
2 teaspoons grated orange zest
1/2 teaspoon nutmeg
1/2 cup old-fashioned oats
1/4 cup gingersnap crumbs
1/4 cup brown sugar, packed
4 tablespoons butter, melted

Preheat oven to 375°. Brush the entire inside of the crust with the egg white. Toss the apples and cranberries with the sugar, flour, cornstarch, orange zest and nutmeg. Spread the mixture evenly in the crust, pressing down. Mix the remaining ingredients and spread evenly over the top. Cover with foil and bake on the bottom rack for 45 minutes. Remove foil and bake for 10-15 minutes more.

Apple Butter Pumpkin Pie

1 cup pumpkin puree
1 cup apple butter
1/2 cup brown sugar. packed
1/2 teaspoon ginger
1/2 teaspoon nutmeg
3 eggs, lightly beaten
1 cup heavy cream
1 9 inch unbaked pie crust

Preheat oven to 375°. Combine pumpkin, apple butter, brown sugar, and spices. Gently mix in eggs. Stir in the cream. Pour evenly into the unbaked pie crust. It would be a good idea to cover the edges of the crust with foil. Bake for 25 minutes and then remove the foil. Bake for an additional 20-25 minutes or until pie is set and a toothpick inserted in the center comes out clean.

New York Pumpkin Cheesecake

3 cups graham cracker crumbs
2 teaspoons pumpkin pie spice
1/4 cup butter, melted
1 15 ounce can pumpkin
2 pounds cream cheese, room temperature
7 eggs, beaten
2/3 cup brown sugar
2 tablespoons rum (or 1 tsp extract)
2 teaspoons nutmeg

Preheat oven to 375°. Combine the crumbs, butter and pumpkin pie spice. Press evenly into a 9 inch springform pan. Bake for 5 minutes.

Combine the rest of the ingredients in a mixer and beat well. Pour evenly into the pan. Bake for 5 minutes. Reduce the heat to 300° and bake for an additional 45 minutes or until the center is set. Turn off the oven but let the cake remain in the oven for about 30 minutes or so.

Buttermilk Maple Sorbet

1/4 cup pure maple syrup
2 1/2 cups buttermilk
1 cup water
1 cup sugar

Mix the ingredients together until sugar dissolves and let sit in refrigerator until cold. Process in an ice cream maker according to manufacturer¢s instructions. Place in a freezer safe plastic container and freeze for at least 24 hours before service. Keep frozen.

Yankee Oatmeal Molasses Buns

4 cups flour
1 packet or ½ teaspoon active dry yeast
½ cup old fashioned oats
1 cup milk
¼ cup butter
¼ cup molasses
1 tablespoon brown sugar
½ teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon nutmeg
1 teaspoon ground cloves
2 eggs

Sift two cups of the flour with the yeast. Combine the other two cups with the oats. Combine milk and butter and warm, about 110-115°, and butter melts. Combine the warm milk with the molasses, brown sugar and spices. In a mixer with the dough hook, slowly combine the four and yeast with the eggs and warm mixture. Add the rest of the flour and oats and mix until just combined. Raise the speed a little and knead for about 5 minutes until the dough is springy and smooth. Place in a large greased bowl, cover with plastic place in a warm, dry place with no draft, like on top of the stove or inside a turned-off oven. Let rise until doubled in size, about one hour. Punch the dough down. On a floured clean counter or cutting board, cut the dough into 16 equal pieces. Roll each piece into balls with the palm of your hand until smooth, Place on a greased cookie sheet about an inch apart. Cover with plastic and let rise for about 30 minutes. Bake in a preheated oven at 375° for 12 minutes.