It's only Hell if you let it be

I just finished watching the season premier of Hell's Kitchen. Personally, I prefer Kitchen Nightmares. Gordon Ramsey, in all his iconic fury does have a point in going nose to nose with unhygienic ignorant miscreants. I've had the misfortune of working with a few of those.

The problem with Hell's Kitchen is most people think it's not realistic or at least not as realistic as Kitchen Nightmares, and after the last two seasons I was inclined to agree. But this season ( I know it's only been one episode so far) has been as realistic as I've seen.

Now, rest assured, I'm not the type to go swearing and screaming (well, not swearing, at least), but Gordon Ramsey is as real as they come. I've been on both the receiving and giving end. All chef's have a certain air about them when it comes to food. Nothing is perfect enough. We are true artists in the fact that when customers say it is perfect, we sigh and say it never will be. And when the customers say that it is crap, we chefs will proudly say it has always been perfect from the start and the customer is, in the words of Mr. Potatohead in Toy Story, an "uncultured swine!"

Working in a professional kitchen is like being in the Army. There's a chain of command that must be followed or good men and women will die. The Drill Sargent does his best to break the "maggot's" spirit so the soldiers will learn respect and listen to the sargent. When they do that, they live. If they don't listen, they will die in the heat of the battle.

Think of the John Wayne movie "Sands of Iwo Jima". The Duke's character, Sgt. Striker was reprimanded for beating a private for disprespecting his authority. The private later, while on the island of Iwo Jima, was responsible for the deaths of two of his platoon-mates because he didn't listen to his sargent.

In the kitchen, the chef teaches, leads and orders. If the grunts on the line don't listen, the kitchen goes down. It's all about discipline. It's not that Gordon Ramsey is an egotistical hothead (Ok, well he is a chef. But still!), he's working the wanna-be chefs until they cry, because then, and only then will they understand what it takes to be a kitchen general. The general has to be tough. Has to command respect. Has to look his minions in the eye, say nothing, and watch the little runt quiver in fear. The minute the general lets his (or her) guard down, that private, who has asperations of being a general, will take advantage. When that happens, there's nothing left for the general to do but retire because the battle is lost.

The problem with the contestants on the show is they all are green, freshly shaven grunts in boot camp that think they are the next best thing in a toque and chef's coat. One even called himself a cooking God. Those are the ones that will get themselves and those around them killed in action. The ones that listen, the ones that sacrifice themselves for the cause are the ones that ultimately rise to that top spot.

So, is Gordon Ramsey vile, rude and egotistical? Sure...but he's right.

The Snail Knows Best

One of my cousins gave my mom a book written by a British expat living in Paris named Stephen Clarke. It's called "Talk to the Snail : Ten Commandments for Understanding the French". There's a chapter that talks about France's famous command of the culinary arts and I just had to share a part of that chapter :

"Here is a typical week’s worth of midday meals served at a certain Parisian establishment. Read it and try to guess who was eating this food.

Monday

Beetroot salad with croutons, lamb couscous with semolina and boiled vegetables, sweetened yoghurt, seasonal fruit

Tuesday

Grated carrot salad with lemon-juice dressing, roast pork with mustard sauce, peas, Gruyere cheese, fromage blanc with fruit in syrup

Wednesday

Lettuce and avocado, fried steak and flageolet beans, Saint-Neclaire cheese, fruit cocktail

Thursday

Potato salad with tarragon, turkey curry with green beans, Pyrenean cheese, seasonal fruit

Friday

Carrot, cabbage and sweet corn salad, cod in hollandaise sauce, rice and vegetables, Camembert, chocolate sauce

So who was eating these lunches? The regulars at a menu fixe restaurant? The workers in one of Paris’s museums? The Staff of Air France?

No. It’s a typical weeks worth of (cafeteria) menus in the schools of Paris’s 4th arrondissment.
The French don’t need a celebrity chef to tell their schools how to feed kids. And they are strong believers in educating the taste buds of the young generation. Not just to ensure future customers for French farmers, but also to try and make sure that the kids don’t turn into three-hamburgers-a-day food yobs.

Make no mistake. French kids love to go to fast-food places, and dream of having French fries with every meal. But schools are places where you’re supposed to learn les bonnes manièrs, and that includes the ‘right’ diet. The menus aren’t monastic - there are lots of sugary desserts - but they are obligatory (except for religious variants) and educate the palate just as compulsory long division shapes the mind. There are probably more herbs, spices and types of cheese in a month’s school menus than some American children eat in a lifetime."

All I can say is, "AMEN!" Honestly, I think we put way too much emphasis on "convenience" and not enough on enjoyment. "Stop and smell the roses", they say. I say, "Savor the flavors." How can anyone find comfort in food if you don't take the time and effort to enjoy them?

Bon Apetite!

Fejon, Fejon, Fejon!

My sister Karen once gave me a T-shirt that said, "Potential Nobel Prize Winner." One of my nephews asked which prize I'd win. I had to answer, "All of them," of course. Cooking is all about physics and chemistry. I love to write recipes and about food in general so there's the Literature prize. And then there's Peace. Everyone loves to eat. Entire nations have been known to set aside petty differences, come together and eat. We just finished a holiday two months ago based on that very concept. Why do we do it? Comfort.

To me, there is nothing more important than comfort food. The concept of comfort food is not lost on the even the simplist of dysfunctional brains. Everyone has their own comfort food. In our family we have many different comfort foods depending on what comfort we're looking for. But the one thing we all agree on anytime or place is Feijoada. Feijoada is the national dish of Brazil. Fejon means "beans" in Portuguese. I think. I don't speak Portuguese. I just repeat what I'm told. Anyway, Feijoada is a black bean stew served over rice. What kind of meat goes in it depends on the region of Brazil. Kind of like our BBQ sauces. There can be as many as seven or so different kinds of meats in Feijoada ranging from beef, pork, chicken or what ever's lurking in the Amazon. It is always served with a salsa (I mean Pico de Gallo) of black olives, green peppers and palmetta (palm hearts).

Here's a recipe my mom got from a Brazilliam woman named Otilia Mourao. Her daughter Vera was married to my dad's best friend Nelson Read who also served an LDS mission in Brazil. Remember, you can use any and as many meats you like.

2 lb black beans, soaked
2 T baking soda
Olive oil
1 lb lean beef, cubed
1 lb pork roast, cubed
1 lb Polish sausage (called Kielbasa) or any good sausage
a dozen or so large Bay leaves
2 large onions, sliced thin
2 T minced garlic
salt and pepper to taste

Soak the beans overnight or up to 24 hours with some baking soda. The baking soda will clean the beans of impurities that cause gas. Rince the beans well, add fresh water and simmer covered for one hour.

In a large hot skillet, slowly brown the meat in some olive oil. Add this and the bay leaves to the beans. In the same skillet, add a little more olive oil and saute the onions and garlic. Add these to the beans as well. Ladle some water from the beans into the skillet and clean the residue from the bottom of the skillet. This will go into the beans as well. Cook, covered, for several hours until the meats are tender and the liquid is reduced so it's nice and thick. Taste for salt and pepper. Serve over cooked white rice and top with the salsa

Olive, Palm Heart Salsa:

1 large sweet green pepper, diced
1 bunch green onions, sliced thin
1 can pitted and sliced black olives
1 can palm hearts, sliced into rounds (This can usually be found in any supermarket next to the canned artichoke hearts)

Put everything and a bowl and add a splash of olive oil, red wine vinegar, garlic salt and a pinch of dried basil, crushed. Let it sit in the refrigerator while the Feijoada is cooking.

A good Feijoada feast is also served with wilted kale cooked with bacon and garlic as well as a platter of sliced oranges. The oranges, I'm told is meant to settle the stomach and aid in digestion.

And don't forget the Guarana! It's a fruit that they use to make all different kinds of drinks. The most common is a soft drink. It's becoming more and more popular here in the U.S. but be careful and choose the soft drinks. There are energy drinks out there that have guarana in them that have more natural caffiene than a double espresso. I saw one that even came with a warning label! The soft drink actually has less caffiene than Coke or Pepsi, so I'm told. At any rate, it is a must with Feijoada. Sometimes I drink it just for the heck of it. It has kind of an apple-y taste to it. I like to twist an orange slice into it. I got that idea from a restaurant here in Provo called Tucanos.

So that's my comfort food in a nutshell. Or at least one of them. I have many, but Feijoada tops them all.